All posts filed under: Reflect

Some random musings & some penetrative analysis

Remember Me?

Today a professor I’ve taken three graduate school courses with, who was my advisor for a year, and whose research I worked on for a bit, didn’t see me as I waved at him from down the hall, as I made not one but two verbal attempts to say ‘hello’ and congratulate him on his upcoming retirement, well within his visual range and earshot. The classmate I was walking with, who witnessed the snub/oversight/whatever, remarked at how fucked up that was. Two of the three classes I took with him had no more than ten people in them. I was the only black girl in all three. I even won an in-class competition on who could clean a data set the best (nerdy, I know); I was the dark horse in the class, literally and figuratively. I guess I should’ve known better. That a professor who discouraged me from even registering for the first class I took with him on the presumption of my lack of ability to do advanced data analysis, could forget me just as quickly as he …

Gritaram-Me Negra! [They Shouted, Black Girl!]

**Tinha sete anos apenas, [I was only seven years old] apenas sete anos, [only seven years old] Que sete anos! [what seven years?!] Não chegava nem a cinco! [I wasn’t even five!] De repente umas vozes na rua [when suddenly some voices in the street] me gritaram Negra! [shouted, “black girl!”] Negra! Negra! Negra! Negra! Negra! Negra! Negra! [Black! Black!…] “Por acaso sou negra?” – me disse (SIM!) [“Am I really black?” — I said, (YES!)] “Que coisa é ser negra?” (NEGRA!) [“What’s it mean to be black?” (BLACK!)] E eu não sabia a triste verdade que aquilo escondia. (NEGRA!) [And I didn’t know the sad truth that it hid (BLACK!).] E me senti negra, (NEGRA!) [And I felt black, (BLACK!)] Como eles diziam (NEGRA!) [Like they said (BLACK!)] E retrocedi (NEGRA!) [And I retreated (BLACK!)] Como eles queriam (NEGRA!) [Like they wanted (BLACK!)] E odiei meus cabelos e meus lábios grossos [And I hated my hair and my thick lips] e olhei vergonha da minha pele torrado [and I was ashamed of my toasted skin] E retrocedi (NEGRA!) [I retreated …

Disengaged but Reconnecting

I got an email today from Tumblr saying Happy 5th Birthday. It’s been five years since I started that blog–since I started blogging period. Which means it’s also been five years since I began a very transformative study abroad experience in Brazil, which was the very reason I began blogging so as to keep my family in touch with what I was doing and where I was–before I had smart phones and Whatsapp and Viber. So I decided to revisit my long abandoned Tumblr to see what it was I was going on about between Sep 2009 and Dec 2011. First of all, I had over 1000 posts! (I only have like 100 something on here) When I started on tumblr, it had fairly low usage, so people were really just writing or posting a personal image here and there. By the time I stopped using it (and part of the reason I stopped using it) it had turned into the twitter of blogging–>constant reposting of other people’s posts, most of which were just pretty pictures, quotes, gifs, or ridiculous youtube videos. Mind you, …